Monday, 26 January 2015

The Girl In The Blue Line Metro



Noida city center                    :07

I cursed the system of our country in every language i knew....who the f*ck has the time to wait for 7 min...controlling my desire to smack the driver across the face, i waited...among a dozen others, desperate to get on the next train...finally it was here...but i was transfixed at my position...standing near the door, you were smiling, probably at someone you knew....but i felt that smile was meant for me...people pushed me and shoved me out of their way...i even heard a man call me an idiot but his words didn't make any sense at that moment...all i cud see was you...

I had always been a practical guy...never believed in horoscopes, superstitions or love at first sight for that matter...but having had two serious relationships and countless one night stands in the past 2 and a half yrs and yet having seen the same face when i closed my eyes and went to bed each night...even i began to doubt myself....either i was in need of a psychiatrist or re-evaluating my beliefs...

Since going to a mental health professional seems like a rather costly affair...i'll accept...that it is indeed your lips that i want on mine each and every day, as long as i shall live...it is your hand that i wanna hold when i flaunt you in front of my 'good for nothing' friends...it is your face that i wanna see everyday when i wake up next to you in our bed...and for me to be the one you smile at, when you look out the window of your metro and spot me among a crowd of people...

Every time i tell someone about u...they begin by laughing at me and end with calling me crazy...but having lived my life following logic and reason at every turn, i did try to forget you...but how can you forget someone you never knew?

Saturday, 17 January 2015

The Perfect Illusion


"He loves me...he has to...he is the one...he has to be", a thousand voices scream from my inside...
He keeps me safe, protects me from all those who could hurt me...
When he sets his eyes on me everything else disappears in the room for him and a slow smile makes its way up to his face...
My eyes light up every time he comes near me...
I'm bound by his love...i can't begin to imagine my life without him...

A thousand screams from my heart hide the single cry emerging from my throat as the leather of his belt touches my skin...

I'm safe and protected as I lie in the corner of my dungeon, immersed in darkness, away from the outside world...
When he looks at me everything else disappears for him with pure lust reflecting in his eyes...and he smiles as the idea of possessing me plays around in his mind...
My eyes illuminate when he comes near me as I get to look at another body with flesh and bones...
I'm bound in shackles, unable to escape his torment...having lost all hope of a better future, I can't imagine life without him...he is all I know now...

Monday, 12 January 2015

Meant For You




  
Valentine's day...
Young love...

John and Suzy planned the perfect evening...
Candlelight set...
Flowers delivered...
Chocolates bought...

Susy waited...
At the same restaurant each year...
No one ever came...
Today was no different...
Her children didn't remember her b'day...

Then came a bouquet...
with a Lil note saying "I love you"...
which was enough to turn her frown upside down...

Nothing can emphasis the power of a single syllable more...

Friday, 9 January 2015

Damaged Goods

"Damaged goods" they called me...jumping from one relationship to another, nothing ever seemed to work out...I had no family to take the fall for me or childhood trauma to blame...maybe it was my fear of abandonment coupled with their fear of commitment...which led them to believe that I needed to be rescued...and none of them wanted to get their hands dirty doing it...

Friday, 2 January 2015

Psyche Of A Suicidal Person


I wonder what goes on in the inner depths of a mind, that is willing to die an unnatural and self-propelled death...

The will to end your life just lying beneath the surface...hiding behind a facade of happiness...
The strength to go through it all, appearing suddenly and unexpectedly...
Life becoming so unbearable that the pain of dying seems trivial in its comparison...
The thought of family and friends fleeting through the mind, seeming insignificant...
Heart filled with doubt and brain frozen with terror...
Then all that fear fading away as the edge approaches....
With an unseen force pushing you to take that leap and end all the misery in an instant...
And the promise of an after-life or at least release from the present one, overpowering all rationality...

One step, life ceases to exist and its gone Forever...